This entry shall be in segments.
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A waterfall of chocolate, running blind, burning mind, jumbled time.
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I have been researching hyperlexia. I have good reason to believe I may have had it as a child. However, I need some more fact verification from my parents to be sure. My suspicious are such partly because Primary school memories.
I don't remember ever having to learn how to read - I think it came naturally to me. I'm not sure when I first started to read (whether it was earlier, later, or at the normal time), but I remember graduating almost straight away from picture books to moderately thick novels. I have a clear memory of sitting alone in the corner in Grade 1 skim reading 1950's editions of the Famous Five books (quite large - larger than modern versions, and written in old style English) while other children sat with the teacher reading 3 sentence a page picture books word by word with the teacher helping them. From when I first entered school onwards I was so advanced in reading I was always left to my own devices to read whatever I liked while other children followed the syllabus.
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My mind has been in a rut these last few weeks. I feel all my AS and ADHD symptoms more keenly - my sensory issues, my obsessive thought looping, and my inability to stay on task or stay focused. I seem to constantly jump from one thing to another, never completing even the simplest things, and in a state of constant frustration. The sensory problems I have been experiencing have made it difficult for me to be in public places, or function well enough in shopping centers to actually get any shopping done (which is a real problem as winter is fast approaching and I only have one long sleeved top).
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Thoughts stray, patterns break and change, eyes sore, I am a tiresome bore.
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Why do the smaller questions run rampant, while the bigger questions remain unanswered?
Caitlin. I believe we are much more alike then I thought. Dealing with the mix of AS and ADHD and now I see, hyperlexia, yes I can relate. I could read since, my dad believed aged 3, precedes my earliest memories.
ReplyDeleteNumbers too, maths came easy, (after of course being allowed a calculator, as my working memory does not allow numbers to stay in my head long enough to even add together.
Good luck with your blog. I have tried to start a blog many times and have had to let it go over and over as my ability to keep projects going is non-existent. Well I will not say that. I have been able to struggle through to complete things, not as much as my mind dreams up and even far short of my peers of a comparative age.
Sorry if this is slightly fragmented. I am trying so hard to structure my sentences under the influence of chocolate as well combined with a sleepy yet racing mind, having studied statistics all day.
^ Yep, you sound very much like me! I have numerous unfinished projects too (the vast majority of what I start, I don't complete, due to my constantly jumping attention).
ReplyDeleteI can't remember if I was exceptional at maths as a child - although I do remember writing and completing an immensely complicated addition problem on the whiteboard in grade 3 to show off to the teacher (which the other children were playing at recess). I have gotten straight 7's for psychology stats at uni (which I presume you refer to?)
Going back to completing things, I find I am best able to complete things when they are short pieces of work, or short tasks. A.k.a. writing journal or diary entries, poetry (I have hundreds of poems saved on my computer), songs for voice and piano (I have a complete album written now, although not recorded), small artistic scribbles, and such things. Long term projects though - such as writing a novel, composing a musical, painting a large painting, I fail dismally at.
I know what you mean about jumping attention. Really, really annoying, and not easy to deal with either.
ReplyDeleteAlthough have you noticed that with some tasks you might jump all over the place, but when you get put in front of something very specific you can work at it for hours? For instance when last I assembled a computer, I didn't stop working until it was completely done; about 7 hours worth of work, installing software included.
Have you also tried doing things with friends/colleagues around? I did this in Honours last year and it seemed like I was actually imitating their level of work ethic. Both funny and highly productive. Although I imagine sensory problems could make that tricky.
And I was the same with reading when I was young. Whenever my class got taken to the library, one of the librarians would sit me in the novels section and leave me there until just before the class took off.
I find I study much better when isolated, I find the presence of other people distracting. My work ethic is generally better than most peoples anyway; it has to be, because it takes me so much longer to complete things. Often I can work on a specific task for hours, but the whole time I am doing the work my attention is still constantly shifting, and I have to keep jumping my thoughts back towards the task at hand - thus it takes me much longer to complete tasks than other people when they're focused.
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