09/09/07 Afraid.

I’m afraid

Minutes pass into hours are you’re still here

I’m so afraid

I’ll slip

And you’ll realise

You can do better

And I’ll lose you

My mask is beautified

Such that it catches the light

And is desirable in the eyes of others

But when I talk to you now

I am my true self

So blunt and flawed and hurtful

And afraid

How much will it take

To push you away

You’re like a dream

The best dream I’ve ever had

But it’s real

And I’m so afraid I’ll wake up

I don’t deserve you

But somehow

You’re here

And we’re becoming us

I know now

That when I was diagnosed at age 12

They said this would never be possible for me

And I would live life alone

So

Maybe this is in my head