Down deep I feel a fool,
The safeway bags full of Easter eggs,
All the ones they love,
Stuffed in the bottom of my fridge so they won’t melt,
A waste of money, time.
I register my loneliness with a startling clarity,
I am the only one living in past days,
While they have moved forward,
Disconnected from all I knew.
Why when I stand still, why when I’m alone,
Why do I dream of the past?
My present and my future melt away,
Like a vaguely registered dream,
When I wake in the morning.
With startling clarity,
I am alone, completely isolated,
And I realize when I am with others,
I am more alone than when I am by myself.
The Easter eggs were another distraction,
I spent hours in the humid, sweaty afternoon,
Starving hungry, striding from supermarket to supermarket,
Looking to save a dollar here, 20 cents there,
Searching for the perfect Easter.
I constructed an elaborate fantasy movie,
In which I, the hero, brought together the people I love,
In joyous celebration,
And felt the warmth, connection, belonging that exists in my imagination.
The truth hurts.
Families drift apart as children grow older,
Children form partnerships, and create a new universe.
Parents find themselves again in one another.
I am the only one left living in the past.
No comments:
Post a Comment